That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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