I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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