I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
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