There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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