D3 body, D1 cock
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
