why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
