I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
