At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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