we have officially lost it.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
