For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
