i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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