Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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