The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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