And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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