in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
