We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
