also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm at about main and main street
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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