please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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