Where is the hickey?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just invented taco cereal.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
