do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
