i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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