This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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