i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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