I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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