We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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