Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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