Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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