He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
