Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Please don't give away my fajitas
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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