peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize