Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
