first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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