i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
