Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
