Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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