it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
