He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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