I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
