maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
