who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
