So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize