I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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