He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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