watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm bleeding and have questions
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
