he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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