fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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