The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
