I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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