you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize