Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
