After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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