I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
