I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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