I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
