3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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