I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
