Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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