I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
