Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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