Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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