I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
