idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
