My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
