Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
