There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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