just tell him i said nine months
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
