I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
