He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
