Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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